The Winner (!): Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly. Investigators say Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.
