Hello, I am typing this message from inside my toaster, please send help

deamon

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Der Text stammt von www.somethingawful.com und geht um den author der von nem advertise heini per icq angelabert wurde, er verarscht ihn dann "n bisschn" *ggg* hab mich weggeschmissen als ich das gelesen hab

StaceY - HEY! What'zup? : )

Lowtax - Stacey!!! How have you been, sugar? Long time no see!

StaceY - : - ) ~~~

Lowtax - Who the hell are you?

StaceY - Just wanted you to check out my site!!! We've got great deals on brandname products and exlusive giveaways if you sign up!!! The World's Biggest Cash Game Site!! Over 5000 Winners Everyday! Over $35,000 Won Daily & Growing!! (URL DELETED)

Lowtax - Wow!!! That makes me!!! Excited!!! StaceY!!!!!!!!!!

StaceY - : P Head on over right now and you can check out the special deal I put up Just For You!! (URL DELETED)

Lowtax - A special deal!!! For me!!! Wow!!! This is great! Let me click here to continue!!!

StaceY - : )

Lowtax - Wow!!! An offer for a free Mastercard with NO credit check! How does that work,
Stacey?!? Please try to tell me in an excited tone!!!

StaceY - Click the link and see!!!

Lowtax - Okay!!!

Lowtax - It didn't work!!!! Stacey!!!

StaceY - :-o what Happened??

Lowtax - I don't know, I clicked the link and my lights went out. I don't think this eNetiConAppliance is working right.

StaceY - What kind of computer is that??

Lowtax - It's an eNetiConAppliance. Haven't you heard of those on the news? They did a big article on them for CNN and they interviewed my boss, Dennis Fong.

StaceY - What browser is it??

Lowtax - It has its own browser. It's just kind of unstable now since they're still prototypes. I tried to open your link with my eNetiConAppliance Toaster, but it locked up and my lights went out.

StaceY - What browser does it use tho??

Lowtax - Then I heard a scream and I ran into the bathroom and my cat was rolled up in the shower curtain and was flailing around all over the place so I threw him off my balcony into the woods because nobody goes into my bathroom, period. Not even my cat. Rules are rules and everybody that comes into my place better know the rules.

Lowtax - What were you saying about websites or vitamins or something?


StaceY - It locks up your browser?? whwat Browser are You using??

Lowtax - Hey Stacey, how can I get a Mastercard with NO credit check from your website like it says? I mean, what if I just robbed a bank and then I bought a bunch of shit on credit but never paid the bills because I spent all my stolen money on bail for the bank robbery hearing? Are you a lawyer? Or are you guys just really trusting of other people?

Lowtax - Like do I have to sign a form that says "I PROMISE TO PAY MY BILLS" and then I have to sign another form that says "I PROMISE I JUST SIGNED MY REAL NAME ON THE OTHER FORM" and then there's a third form about God only knows what. I'm liking this free credit car thing less and less Stacey, and I'm not afraid to take it out on you.

StaceY - Theyre just partners with us : ) But its a good deal so you should check it out!!

Lowtax - Stacey we just covered this. I clicked on your little "commit a crime and use our card" link and the lights in my house went out and all hell broke loose and frankly I think I lost a tooth in the mayhem. Your link doesn't work on my browser!

StaceY - What Browser Are You Using???

Lowtax - Dammit Stacey, I don't have a browser!!!!!! I'm using an eNetiConAppliance! The toaster model!

StaceY - What is that??

Lowtax - My entire kitchen is wired for the Internet. I have the prototype eNetiConAppliance toaster, refrigerator, microwave, stove, and barley hat spinner machine. It's all networked together, so while the microwave download recipes for The Spanish Goulag, I can play Minesweeper on the stove! Online! On the Internet!

StaceY - OH I HEard about those!!

Lowtax - ON THE INTERNET!!!! STACEY!!!

StaceY - Howd you get those?? I didn't think they were selling yet!?

Lowtax - Well I work for Dennis Fong, Stacey, and I'm sure you heard of him.

StaceY - No : (

Lowtax - Yes you have you little vixen. Dennis Fong owns almost all the oil wells in Northern Texas. He's a big tech guru and he's made great eProducts such as the CyberSpritzer 2000, the Microwavable Select-A-Dice, and some crazy blue thing that they only sell in Japan. It's like a weedwacker or something except it has a face of a big blue donkey and it vomits perfume on old women's faces every 30 minutes. It's like some beauty thing.

StaceY - What company is this?? How much adveritissing do you guys do?? ;-)

Lowtax - Are you into beauty, Stacey?

Lowtax - A/S/L?!?!?!

StaceY - Do you guys advertisse online??
 

Lowtax - Not yet Stacey, but once we finish the prototypes we will. We've got a great advertising campaign ready. It's called "March Into the Millennium with FongCoInc's eNetiConAppliance." Because we're going to start selling it in March! And we were originally going to release it a couple years ago.

StaceY - How much do they cost??? are you selling them online??

Lowtax - Get it? Because we say "March Into" and we're selling it in the month of March!

Lowtax - That was my idea. I also had a great campaign idea called "Drive Drunk Into Fantastic Savings!" but they didn't go for that because they were afraid people might get drunk and drive into our stores and we can have that happen because the stoves explode really easy, like really old fake mustaches that people used to wear on "Hee-Haw" in between skits.

StaceY - How much do they cost??

Lowtax - Which model? Like I said, we have models for everything in your kitchen except the kitchen sink! Ha ha, get it? Because we don't sell the kitchen sink! But if we did I bet they'd call it like eSink or iSink, well probably not iSink because of the Titanic and all. People still get offended when you mention the Titanic and threaten to sink the boat they're in.

Lowtax - So to answer your question, I'm using ICQ through this eNetiConAppliance Toaster prototype! It has a built in 38-letter keyboard. I think there are supposed to be more letters on it, but I'll be damned if I can find where they are. I'm not too technical, Stacey.


StaceY - They sound reaelly complex tho. :-

Lowtax - They're pretty complex but I know what I'm doing.

Lowtax - I just downloaded a toast recipe from the Internet!!!

StaceY - :-P from where?

Lowtax - The Internet!!! See, let me copy some of it for you:

STEP 1: GET BREAD

See?

StaceY - What else can it do??? brb

Lowtax - Well I don't know yet, I'm not a technical person. I just downloaded toast so I'm going to see what the next step is.

Lowtax - Oooh, I don't know, I'm not in marketing. I just test the things and then Dennis Fong comes over and tells me to keep testing or else he'll fire me and he makes me test all these things out in my home no matter where I live or move to.


StaceY - How long dose the cord reach back?? Can you see it all the way in the back of the friedge with it???

Lowtax - I don't know, let me see!

Lowtax - Ah shit

Lowtax - Hey Stacey, the computer monitor locked up and the door of the goddamn fridge door won't open back up all the way.

StaceY - What???

Lowtax - This thing is still a prototype and it locks up alot. Now the goddamn door won't open and I'm wedged in here next to the watermelon and chocolate milk.

StaceY - That sounds dangerous!!

Lowtax - Well luckily it can be remotely rebooted. Can you do me a favor and send me a message giving the computer instructions so it reboots? I dont want to have to kick out the door like I did to my wife's house.

StaceY - Oh no sure what do I type??

Lowtax - Okay, type this:

293-COM:http://www.eNetiConAppliance.domain.reg.4823.remotecon:-command reboot

Just copy and paste what I typed above and it should get the message and reboot.

StaceY - 293-COM:http://www.eNetiConAppliance.domain.reg.4823.remotecon:-command reboot

Lowtax - Shit, that did't work. Let me see if I can pull up the manual here saying how to do a reboot.

Lowtax - Oh, here it is. Okay, here are the instructions: you have to type that command I sent you before and send it. Then, within 5 seconds of it sending, you have to hit ALT-F4. That sends some SYSEX message to the computer here and it will reboot.

Lowtax - Do you have all that?

StaceY - Yeah let me try now

Lowtax - Thanks, please hurry, I think my knee is in a bowl of something awful.

StaceY - 293-COM:http://www.eNetiConAppliance.domain.reg.4823.remotecon:-command reboot

(StaceY went offline)
 
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hehe gj manche Leutchen sind echt dumm :D

Mich labbern zum Glück keine Werbefuzzies an :o
 
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